With all of our usual weather here on the Oregon coast, rain is the usual, rarely do we see a sky filled with stars. I looked out the other night, on one of my A.M. runs and saw that the sky was filled with stars, well not a little of the milky way, but at least more than I have seen in a long while. If we didn't have the mill close by with the big lights that shine twenty four hours a day, maybe we would see the stars more often. I am happy I got the two pictures I did as my neighbor, Maxine, found her way to the Garden Gate yesterday morning. I called to say I was home from my little trip in case they needed me for some reason and I was anxious to find out how she was doing. Her son, Michael, answered and said she had passed on that morning (December 11, 2009) peacefully in her sleep. A true blessing for all.
I don't have a picture of my neighbor and friend. She probably stood five foot tall at most and weighed about a hundred and five, although the cancer had reduced her weight to about eighty pounds or less. She had dark brown eyes that were alert and full of fun. Her tongue was quick and her gibes fast and funny. She loved to poke fun at everyone and I doubt she ever met a stranger. She talked often about her husband of over sixty years, in glowing terms of 'her Ben' who found out very early in their marriage that she could not cook like her mother whose cooking he loved. She was not allowed in the kitchen. He gave her time to learn but her efforts were not up to his expectations so he learned to cook, even went to cooking classes, and forevermore he was the chief cook and loved every minute of it. She spoke so often of the way he cooked food and the way he presented it. Maxine had favorite dishes which he fixed often for her, and cleaning up was easy and much more to her liking. It sounds, to me, like they had an ideal marriage and their love was deep and abiding.
When Maxine talked of her children, and we had hours in which we discussed our children in their early years, she spoke of them with pride and so much love. She was right, as each one took time to come to help and to visit and that included the grandchildren as well. They rearranged their lives and made it possible for her to die in her own home, just as she wished, and although I watched the struggle they went through and the pain of watching their mother die slowly, not one of them was willing to give up the vigil. I'm very proud of each of them for having the stamina and caring to do so. It had to be one of the most painful experiences of their lives.
I have no idea what the plans are for a celebration of her life. I know there will be one as they all gathered when their father died a couple of years ago. A good lady will be laid to rest, her ashes scattered to join with her 'Ben' and the children will get back to living their lives remembering their parents in love and thanksgiving for giving them their chance to walk the garden path. It probably will be a bit lonelier here in the neighborhood without scrabble games and talks at the mail box, or having her sit in my chair and hating to leave the ease and comfort she found visiting me. She told me she finally found a 'soul' mate but why did it take her four years to invite me to see her 'doll house' which is really fabulous . . . I have no idea, but once the 'ice' was broken we had a great time. We were both busy doing 'our' thing, coming and going on a daily basis. She went to 'time out' and helped the alzheimer patients and used her nursing skills right up to the end. She even had a tea party with four of the ladies at the Tea House just a month back and enjoyed every minute of it. She donated a special English tea pot to the sixteen hundred they already have on their shelves. I didn't have a chance to tell her that I 'visited' her tea pot. She would have gotten a kick out of that.
I am happy for her, sad for me, but she is no longer a victim of life without quality of life and her soul has gone on to become a new shining star in the heavens. Look up, look out in a star filled night and find an ancestor or two, they are up there shining down reminding us that life goes on in a much different way in the next mode in the infinity of life.
So say a prayer for Maxine and those you loved and know they are just a thought away. Make today a good day, enjoy it to the fullest. Take good care of yourselves, eat well, exercise some, enjoy the rain if you have some, we do, and smile because you can.
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